Not Ready to Forgive and Forget

I found this quote and if only I can get to the forgiveness part.


"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." — Lewis B. Smedes

Puppy Lullaby

Adorable!!
My sweet friend Christie sent this to me...she knows me too well and knew I would love it!

Case of the Mondays

I have a lot of random thoughts in my head right now. So I will address all of them in my Monday 8/25 blog entry ....

Maybe I am so full of thoughts because it is Monday or maybe it is because I am looking to do anything but work right now......I really wish I could not be at work right now.... oh to be somewhere else...any place else would be more then fine. I wish I was on vacation right now.... laying out on a beach or sight-seeing in Greece or really just doing anything but being here at FINL.

Mondays....Ughhhhh
As soon as my alarm clock went off this morning, I was wishing I could fast forward the day a quick 16-17 hours and climb right back into bed. I am definitely feeling unmotivated and sluggish today. I just have such an issue with Mondays. I am not sure if it is just me and my hatred of Mondays or if maybe it me feeling antsy about where my life is right now....or the lack of knowledge on where it is my life is going....because truly I need a big change. I don't know.

Blogging Time-Out
It has been awhile since my last blog...I had a blah week last week and it mostly consisted of me vegging out on my couch after work because I felt so crappy. Weird thing to just lay on my couch so much lately....I never used to lay on my couch, Bill used to inhabit the couch for hours at a time so I couldn't really ever get much couch time of my own. I will admit for some odd reason I find myself sitting on the floor quite a bit too, not sure why, I guess I just got used to it during the "Years of Bill".

I had to take a time out from Blogging as I didn't feel in the mood to write. Like I mentioned earlier, I was sick for a couple days last week after getting a tetanus shot last Monday. And didn't feel compelled to write. You know...I hope that little dog found his owners or that someone adopted him. I went through a lot of crap for him.

But I think I am finally feeling myself again after a weekend of much needed rest.

Migraines
Anyone out there plagued with Migraines? I had my second migraine on Friday afternoon and into the evening. It was awful, I feel for anyone who has migraines on a regular basis...they are absolutely debilitating. I laid on my bed for several hours unable to sleep or move or be subjected to light and I have no idea what I did to initiate the migraine. Thankfully I felt a lot better Saturday morning.

Summer Flex Fridays
Last Friday was officially my last Friday off, unless I take PTO. It sucks, I really think Flex Fridays brought up our moral and also gave everyone in the office something to look forward too every other Friday. I didn't even mind working 10 hour days every other week...the Friday off was absolutely worth it. I am hoping the HR dept realizes how much Flex Fridays were enjoyed by all and they decided to continue them on. Do I think that will happen....not at all but I can dream right. Too bad my last Flex Friday was consumed with a migraine and overcast weather. Ok so I will stop being Debbie Downer now.

My Garage Sale
On a brighter note last Saturday was my make up garage sale day. Despite the ridiculously hot and humid weather I had a great turn out. I ended up making around $200.00 in a little under 8 hours. Another plus, my garage is looking pretty sweet and de-cluttered! I love organization and thanks to the many who stopped by my garage sale, I was able to get rid of a lot of stuff. Now I am just trying to get all of the left over junk to Goodwill or any other organization who will come to my house and pick the stuff up. All in all a great first garage sale!

Craig's List
Did I mention that I have become obsessed with Craig's List. I find myself looking through my house for things I don't use or need so that I can sell them. So far I have sold my old table and chairs but have a couple other things on the site at the moment. It is such a great place to get rid of stuff you don't need but to also enable yourself to make a little money....I have a few items that Bill left or that he just forgot about.... so I am hoping to get some money from those items. To be honest (and I am not a mean person) I wish I would have been in the mad stage when he moved his stuff out. I was so hurt when he did this to me a second time that I just wanted all of his stuff out of my house and out of my sight. Thinking back now, I wish I would have kept some of the good items to sell. Maybe I could have gotten 5% of what he used, took, selfishly absorbed from me back. I do not feel the least bit mean for selling his crap because to be honest technically he owes me like $15,000 from the free room, board, electricity and all the other stuff I gave selflessly to him...only for him to believe he deserved. So selfish! So really he is getting a bargain. If there was any way to sue him, I would but I have yet to find a way to do so.

The Circus
Today an email went out to the entire office, offering tickets to the Circus. I have an issue with the Circus and how they treat their animals. I remember going to the Circus when I was little and even then believing that it was mean to make these animals perform acts that do not come naturally to them. I really believe it is highly inhumane that they force wild animals to tour around the country and perform circus acts for hoards of people. Not to mention in their spare time they are tied and locked in small cages or crates until the next show.

Painting
I am taking a leap this weekend and going to get some stuff done around my house that I have been putting off. First up...painting my master bedroom. I am not the best painter and really it isn't as fun as I thought it was but I desperately want to add some color to my bedroom so I am forcing my self to paint over the long Labor Day weekend. I will be sure to add photos of my newly painted room as soon as I have completed this little project.

I have a million things to get done today so I will end the blog entry for the day.

10 Year High School Reunion

This past Saturday was my 10 year high school reunion. I can't believe it has been 10 years since I graduated from High School. Wow...that kind of makes me feel old. I dont want to get old....

The reunion was very small but I must thank those who worked to coordinate the event. It was an interesting time.

Hopefully at our 15 year reunion we will have a better turn out. I must not complain though as I did not volunteer my time to help with this one.

The photo above includes the following beauties: Christie (and one of her twin daughters, I think this is Addy), Jenn (who is having her first baby in December), Me (no kids or babies...at least at this point in my life) and Kerri (who is having her third but first baby girl in, February I think). Erica is missing from this photo...she decided not to come. All of us have been friends since we were in elementary school. It was great to see the girls! I have some other photos to share too.

I always enjoy going back home to Fort Wayne, I know it is not too far from Indy but I don't make it home as often as I should. It was a perfect day outside and the weather cooperated nicely. It was nice to see some old friends that I normally do not have a chance to see very often. It was also great to see some of my closer friends that unfortunately I don't get to see as often as I would like to either.

I was warned yesterday when I got my tetanus shot that I may get some flu like symptoms and feel yucky or not so great for the next couple of days. The nurse said I should probably be fine....I thought I would too as I do not have any issues when I get a flu shot each winter. Well unfortunately I woke up this morning feeling like total crap, my head is pounding, I have a fever and I can barely swallow.

I had a ton of meetings today so I couldn't stay home and I was hoping I would feel better as the day went on but I don't. I was reading online about effects of a tetanus shot, once I got to the percentage of people who die after getting the shot I forced myself to stop reading. I tend to be a bit dramatic at times but I don't even have enough energy to think about the possibility of dying from my tetanus shot all because I was trying to save that little dog.

So I am heading home to do nothing but rest this evening. It is times like this, that I really miss having a great guy to take care of me. Actually it is times like this that I miss my parents taking care of me, like they did when I was little. I have such awesome parents. Ok Im leaving now.

I am going to write more about the reunion later and add a couple other photos too.

Learned My Lesson...Well... Kind of....

See this cute, innocent looking, little dog, don't be fooled, while trying to save his little life from what would have certainly been disastrous, he BIT me!

Lets rewind a bit....I love animals, I don't know when this huge love for animals began, but I do hold a special place for them in my heart, and honestly I always have been like this. Growing up we always had a family dog and I have never been afraid of any animal. Actually I feel sorry for people who are afraid of dogs or cats because I think they are missing out on having a pet.

I have no issue stopping on the side of the road to help a stray cat or dog. I actually think stray animals seek me out because they know I will stop to help them. I have had several great experiences where I was able to reunite a lost pet with their owner. And remained uninjured in the process. I always try to put myself in the owners shoes. If Lucy, Roxy or Farley ever got out and were lost, I would hope someone would stop to help them just like I do.

Well this weekend I was on my way home to Fort Wayne for my 10 year high school reunion, with Lucy in tow of course. All of a sudden I see this little animal running down the median, I think I screamed...I couldn't believe this little 10 lb dog was running down the middle of I-69. Immediately I did a U-turn, of course using the area that blatantly states only for authorized vehicles. I could have cared less, I just didn't want this little dog to get smashed by a Semi or one of the many cars doing 75 mph.

At first the little guy was scared, I could totally understand. I was very cautious and calm as I approached him. I threw him a couple Goldfish Pretzels and he seemed to be friendly. As I got closer he remained calm but as I got even closer he bit my finger. The little helpless Jack Russell Terrier I was trying to save, all of a sudden turned into Cujo! Really the blood dripping down my hand looked far worse then the wound really was. Thank god another person stopped right after I got bit to help out. Randomly this woman was on her way to a dog show, so she had a empty crate and a leash that she used to capture the dog. She said she was going to drop it off at the closest Humane Society. Upon realizing I had been bit by this tiny dog

she exclaimed, "Wow you should get that looked at...that is really gonna swell up"

I responded, "Yes I think that would probably be a good idea. "

Really lady, you think I didn't realize that there was a puncture wound on my hand and that my hand was dripping in blood. Thanks for the info...I was a little annoyed...Seriously I was just bit by a strange dog of course I am going to freaking get it looked at.

I stopped at a Rapid Care once in Fort Wayne and asked them what I should do. They told me it takes 72 hours for would be rabies to infect your body, so I was good until I got back to Indy to get a tetanus shot. Not comforting, but at least I didn't have to worry about dying in my sleep or succumbing to some other random symptom of rabies, at least not until 72 hours later.

So today I went to the doctor and got a tetanus shot, it hurt way less then giving blood. Now I no longer need to worry about rabies or any other infection from the little innocent looking dog that tried to bit my finger off. I have learned my lesson to a degree, however, I will not be able to stop helping stranded and scared animals. I will just be more cautious about it next time. Those little dogs can fool you.

An Afternoon at the Indiana State Fair

It has become somewhat of a tradition. Every year the marketing dept., or those in the marketing department who wish to brave the mid-day heat/humidity, avoid getting hit by the crazy tractor towing people movers and a possible stomachache after devouring a variety of fair goodies, take a trip to the Indiana State Fair for lunch. Well today was that day!

It was oddly pretty nice weather...normally it feels like 100 degrees, sticky and uncomfortable. Really our only reason for going to the fair is for the food...as I am sure this is the reason most people do so. First up....the Fried Cheese booth. My vice at the state fair would be this fried cheese, fried cheddar nuggets to be exact. Although the Fried Cheese booth is a racket charging $7.00 for 8 cheddar nuggets...I can't help but love this greasy, gooey, melty, cheesy goodness and make a point to get this every year. Add a ridiculously small thimble sized cup full of Ranch and it is heaven at the fair. How could one not enjoy warm fried Wisconsin cheese nuggets? Only other thing I could compare to this great annual lunch choice would be Gramboli's pizza buffet, with the giant tv, set to Wheel of Fortune with two of my favorite guys...Jared and Scott.

After the first course of our unhealthy food choices, we walked around to see what other yummy options we could find. I kept seeing people with giant ears of corn and they looked great. Time for the second course....Roasted Corn on the Cob. If there is one thing that Indiana can grow is good corn. I love corn on the cob and I was sure that it was probably ridiculously delicious, so we walked into the booth and we all got an ear of corn for $2.50...by far the cheapest food choice in the vicinity of the Indiana State Fairgrounds. It was exactly as great as I thought it would be, they dip the roasted corn in a bucket of butter and then you can salt your own. Loved it. Thought possibly I should visit the Dairy Barn for dessert but decided that may throw me into a food coma and I didn't want to feel awful for the rest of the day. Theres always next year.

We continued to walk around and made our way to the Cow showing area. Being a huge animal lover, I always like to visit the farm animals. As soon as we entered the barn area (I have no idea what the real name of this area is) I see four people pulling violently on something and as I get closer I realize it is a cow giving birth. Oh my gosh it was amazing....I almost cried. The calf was so adorable and then the mother cow started licking it and it was just awesome. As you can probably tell by my amazement I am in no way shape or form a farm girl and I don't see something like this very often. I think I really should have been a vet...I missed my calling. We then made our way to the Pig house....again adorable, large pigs snoring away and caring less about their visitors. There were a couple active pigs in the area and I got to get up close and personal with them (through their pens of course) and was even able to pet their snouts. Don't worry I disinfected my hands several times when I got home so no chance at getting some crazy pig illness. As we were living the pig house we saw the little piglets and the mom pig. Again adorable and to be honest I really wanted to pick one up but I forced myself to keep walking. I do think I may consider being a vegetarian now.

Overall it was good day at the fair and we were lucky enough to make our way to our cars as the clouds and bad weather rolled in...

Commitment...For or Against?

I don't like Wednesdays....never have....such a sucky day of the week. Nothing too exciting ever seems to happen on a Wednesday either. Although the minute I am on a week long vacation, the passing of Wednesday makes me sad because that means the week is almost over and so is the vacation.

I again stayed up too late watching the Olympics. The 12 hour time difference is a killer and of course all of the sports I care to watch: Swimming, Gymnastics and Volleyball are typically shown on prime time so I find myself staying up till midnight to see the results. I don't have DVR or TiVo...I know I am the exception to most in this regard, even my parents have DVR. As my friend at work Elizabeth said..."Megan its only like $5 more a month." I know...but I fear that if I did get TiVo or DVR that I would become chained to my television... feeling compelled to catch up on all my shows during my free time and then becoming a hermit in my house.

How fantastic would it be to be at the Olympics in person and it would also mean I would be on a vacay....which sounds great right now. I would love to go to an Olympics at some point in my life. Add that one to the never ending list of things to do before I die.

Anyways I found this little quiz on msn.com and decided to test my commitment level. I am a sucker for quizzes like this, you know the ones that are supposed to tell me something about myself that I didn't already know. Am I a hopeless romantic or just hopeless...Am I a Workaholic....What is my personal style type and so on. I have found that Glamour and Cosmo are also great resources for these types of quizzes....again another time waster.

Here were my results from the quiz...not really a shocker:

Well, you are without a doubt a commitment superstar who does not shy away from any responsibility that comes along!
Most likely, you think the phrase being tied down gives commitment a bad name. You're certainly not afraid to sign on any number of dotted lines, unlike quite a few people around you. Relationships and responsibilities are important to you. You like knowing the people you can count on, and that probably makes other people able to rely on you! But don't just sign on for any old commitment. You always have a tendency to want responsibility, structure, and a set routine, but you need to add a little spontaneity into your life! Take the long way home from work, go to a different sandwich shop for lunch, or even spend some time alone without a significant other. You might not know how to behave at first, but you'll get back in touch with the self you may have lost in the sea of commitments and responsibilities you've made. Only when you're ready, jump back in, but be sure to take regular care of yourself. The roots people put down make their lives richer, and you will always have plenty of that kind of wealth in your life.

Take the quiz: http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/Quiz.aspx?type=com&Af=-1000

13 Things

I am ridiculously tired this morning. I could not help myself...I was up till 1am watching as the US Men's Gymnastics team fought for a bronze medal. But now I feel as though I was up all night partying...but without the hangover.

As I was diligently working this morning...I had a brief ADD moment and jumped on MSN.com to catch up on the latest world news, what country was in the lead for the most Olympic medals, and well I'll just be honest, I also wanted to find out whats happening in the lives of Hollywood's rich and famous. FYI...while I hate to admit it...OMG on Yahoo is also a good time waster for when you are having an ADD moment at work. Who doesn't like to keep up on the Spears sisters and Heidi/Spencer drama? When does the new Hills begin?

In the process of scrolling through a multitude of articles informing daily readers about what the best Pet fashions, an interview with Tori Spelling and a highlighted story on the most medicated states in the United States, (which by the way is West Virginia, in case you were interested in moving there) I happened to come across this interesting little bit of irony and funniness... 13 Things We've Learned from Living Alone.

Unfortunately or maybe not, I found that I could related to many of the 13 things. Although I was probably the most lucky person in the world when it came to having fantastic roommates...sidebar I really did have wonderful roommates all except for Laura Miller, what a nightmare. I also have found that I do enjoy living without them. No offense I loved always having a friend to talk to, watch re-runs of Law/Order with, go out with or borrow from but now that I am 29 it just seems different and I like it. Living alone also helps with my military-like OCD cleaning rituals from annoying the hell out of my lovely roommates. Its a win for everyone...I have a clean house and I get to keep my friends. Although I must say, #12 is a bit disturbing, rest assured although I do have two cats and a dog I will not become a pet hoarder, or any kind of a hoarder for that matter (have you seen that Oprah, yikes!) nor will I ever become a cat lady. Just for the record.

I posted the article's list below...

13 Things We've Learned From Living Alone
By: Eileen Conlan, Magazine: Marie Claire

THE LIST
1. Blouses that button up the back are Satan's greatest triumph.
2. It's amazing how quickly one person can go through a roll of toilet paper.
3. OMG, the hair in the drain is all yours.
4. Dinner tastes better eaten pants-less, standing at the sink.
5. A Slim Jim and a Snack Pack pudding make for a really satisfying meal.
6. Alone time makes you philosophical: If I eat this wedge of cheesecake and no one is here to see it, did I really eat it?
7. It's easy to go 48 hours without speaking.
8. Things You Can Now Do Naked: Dice, disinfect, dust, vacuum, hang, knit, crosswords, read, play Wii, shop online, bank online, blog, file taxes, prune indoor garden, macrame, sweep, whittle, blow glass, watercolor, glaze, sculpt, polish, refurbish, rewire, Tae Bo, role-play, Google, play darts.
9. What to Netflix while you're waiting for the cable guy to show up: The Money Pit, Funny Farm, Grey Gardens, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Station Agent, and season one of Big Love (for the days you miss having roommates).
10. I Need To Do That? Professionally shampoo rugs once a year . . . dry-clean drapes every two years . . . defilm the coffeemaker every three months . . . deodorize the microwave monthly . . . change bedsheets weekly.

THE STATS
11. TAKE THAT, SMUG COUPLES: In general, married women experience more depression than do single women.
12. TRY A PET ROCK: 76% of animal hoarders (think 19 dogs, 32 cats, and a zebra in one house) are women, and over half live alone.
13. BEWARE THAT DIPTYQUE (and for godsake, don't light a vanilla one): 18,000 home fires are started annually by candles.


"Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Late Night Thoughts

I have the day off tomorrow and for that I am truly grateful. I did however have to work till about 7pm tonight in order to have tomorrow off but I would rather work late and have a whole day off then work till 5pm five days a week.

I did feel rather productive when I got home and I was able to check off several items on my ever-growing To Do list. I somtimes wonder... what would I do without a list and even more importantly will there ever be a time in my life when that list will be empty. I find myself depending on those To-Do lists...so I wont hold my breathe.

I was finally able to turn off the A/C and open up the windows because the temperature and humidity have finally dropped a bit. A big Thank You goes out to Mother Nature for helping out with that...I could live happily every day in weather like we had tonight. I love the smell of fresh air and even more a great breeze that fills your whole house with life.

I was sitting out on my patio and staring up in the sky and it was clear enough that I could see the stars. Even though I took two Astronomy classes at IU, I still couldnt tell you what constallation is what. The breeze was wonderful, the air truly smelled of summer and the loctus' hummed in perfect unison.

It reminded me so much of the summer time when I was a little girl... we lived outside....playing anything we could think of outdoors with our friends, swimming, riding our bikes, the park, water fights, hide and go seek and the list goes on. But just like clock work we would be home as the street lights flickered on. Then I would go inside and so began the bedtime routine which included a bath every night especially during the summer. Then I would put on my favorite Strawberry Shortcake nightgown and beg my parents to let us stay up just a little longer. Normally I could get 10 or if I was lucky 15 minutes out of them. Wow what I would give to have my parents tell me when to go to bed. I loved that. I also remember loving all of those things at the time of them happening and knowing they wouldnt last forever. Now reflecting back I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories like these to reminisce about.

I think it was the begging to stay up later that created the late night monster that I am today. For some reason so matter how hard I try I cant make myself a morning person. I just hate getting up early. I remember in 5th grade actually creating a plan on how we should get our Elementary school to let us start at 10 am instead of 8 am. I really thought I could sell this plan to them...my main argument was that we would all be more rested and able to learn if we were able to sleep in later. I really thought it would work. It didnt and I found myself struggling even in 5th grade to get up early and it never got better from there. I often wondered how I would ever be able to survive in an 8-5 world since I was so used to a 10am to midnight (lets be honest way later) schedule in college. As I soon figured out employers dont care in the least what your college class schedules were they want your butt in the office by 8.

Another thing you may not know about me...well some may know....is I have a hard time just sitting and watching tv. I guess I feel lazy if I am not multi-tasking. I just dont enjoy sitting and watching tv for hours. Well tonight I actually sprawled out on the couch and flipped through the channels. I have never really been a flipper because normally there is a specifc show on that I want to watch and it absolutely annoys the crap out of me when people flip back and forth and then you end up missing part of the show you were watching. Bill, the horrible excuse for a man, did this and it drove me crazy.

Anyways I was flipping and I stopped on the Country Music channel. Now I am pretty much a fan of all music, I think those that can sing are incredibly gifted as no one not even my dog would want to hear me try to hold a tune. I really didnt get into Country music until my Freshmen year at IU. My next door neighbor in the dorms introduced me to the Dixie Chicks, I introduced her to my mix tape of Warren G and other pop music. She was from Lawrenceburg and I was from Fort Wayne. Later this neighbor would become one of my best friends and to make things even more interesting we had the same name. Megan and I ended up being roommates for the rest of our college days....so many memories I would fill up a million posts just on our Sophmore year.

Well tonight as I paused on the Country Music channel I found myself captivated by a song. The song was "Stay" by Sugarland. If you have heard it or seen the video you know what a captivating song it is. I dont typically get into music videos or really songs for that matter but this one just sucked me in. The emotion and saddness in the song griped me. While my life has not taken me down a road like the one described in the song I could still relate to the shear emotion and pain this woman was singing about because in the end it is all the same. By that I mean no matter how you are hurt by a man...cheated on, left for another woman, you are the other woman, broken heart, etc. it is still that raw, gut wrenching, uncontrolable feeling of hurt that you cant avoid.

I found the video and have posted it below.

Music Video:STAY (by Sugarland)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

"Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination." - Roy Goodman

Perplexed Mood

I'm in a bad mood today, well a better word would be perplexed... I'm in a perplexed mood, and it is only 9am. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe it is because it is Wednesday (Wednesday being my least favorite day and all). Or maybe it is entirely because I feel stuck in my life right now...been at the same job for almost 5 years, lived in the same house for over 3 years....lived in Indiana all of my life and I don't know where I want to go from here. I just don't know.

What I do know is that I am not feeling work today...at all. Would much rather be laying out at the pool reading the newest People or Cosmo. You know... I don't know that I am feeling anything right now....which is absolutely not me. I am usually a ball of happiness, positive, energetic and upbeat... normally my emotional/in touch with my feelings side shines brightly through, ok lets be honest its not really a "side" but pretty much it encompasses the person I am...but right now I am just feeling very blah...and unsure.

I hate feeling unsure....leaves so many areas of my life unguarded and exposed to change. So I guess really change is what freaks me out...I have come a long way in regard to accepting change. The real break through was when I was a freshmen at IU...my whole life changed and nothing I did could prevent those changes from happening, they were the growing up changes that now I am so thankful for, cant be a kid and live at home forever, right? I still remember a card that Leah gave to me...it spelled out the word Change with a positive adjective for each letter of the word Change. I still have the card. Since then I have welcomed change much more but that doesn't mean it still doesn't freak me out a little.

Or maybe it is because things have not changed enough in my life recently that I am starting to get restless with the same stuff and not enough new experiences. I think too that I keep repeating some of the same mistakes in different areas of my life. When a red flag appears, I should try my freaking hardest to move the opposite way...to not to go back to making the same mistakes I made before. I guess it is much easier to go with what you know then to take the road less traveled.

I am just ready for a new chapter in my life (or several for that matter), actually a whole new novel would be just as welcomed. I need some serious changes in my life... I think I need a new job with a new purpose and definitely making more money...a new workout routine, better yet anyone out there want to be my trainer, I told Erica I would run the Mini with her this year...a new relationship with someone fantastic who brings out the best in me but also equally gives to the relationship(See Speaking of What I Want blog entry for more on this subject)....maybe a vacation somewhere I've never been, a new culture, Greece anyone...an afternoon spent catching up on new happenings with an old friend... Oh and a new over-stuffed chair with an ottoman...would look perfect in my living room.

But really...I feel like I am in a rut and I want to get out. No more doing the same things day in and day out. I am young, single (at the moment) and looking for all the things life has to offer.
My goal: to be happy, enjoy my family and friends, to love without regrets and to live my life to the fullist because I never want to look back or question or have regrets about the time I spent here on earth.

"Desire is the key to motivation, but its the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." -Mario Andretti

So Many Years of Friendship.

Geezzz we were so tan in this photo! This was taken on our college senior spring break trip to Florida. It is a couple years old...before weddings, husbands, mortgages, babies and full time jobs. Pretty much the last year we were all able to live in what I like to call the college bubble.

I was going through photos the other day and I found this picture. In case you are new here or are not sure who is who in this photo, I'll give you the low down, these beautiful ladies are Jenn, Erica, Christie and myself.

Honestly, I think I have hundreds maybe thousands of photos of the four of us dating back to elementary school at good old Harrison Hill and even as far back as pre-school at Lincolnshire with Christie!

I used to be obsessed with documenting every occasion or even a non-occasion by taking pictures. I have ridiculous amounts of photo albums and stacks of photos in boxes but I love to flip through them and see how we've all changed.

I am so blessed to have met these girls so early on in life because we have been able to share with each other important life experiences, rites of passage and so many memories I couldn't begin to count. I think it is a rare thing to find a group of friends who have been friends since they were 8 years old.

I am a lucky girl.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown

Speaking of what I want...

I wouldn't classify myself as a high maintenance woman...a better term would be a woman who finally knows what she wants...in myself, in life, in a man and in a relationship.

I am particular about some things, for instance I hate dirty counter tops in the kitchen as well as dirty dishes in the sink. I wont eat leftovers despite the fact that my Dad has told me pretty much my whole life that there is nothing wrong with leftovers. To me there is, I think their gross. I will however eat leftover pizza and any Casa de Angelo leftovers at any time.

I have to sleep with a fan at night (don't ask it all started when I was in high school and thankfully my dear and loving roommates over the years have graciously put up up with my crazy habit...Leah, Meg, Jill, Missy, Julia, Jessica, Rita, Christine...you guys are the best! What can I say I hate to be hot.)

I also like things clean and in order, I could possibly diagnosis myself with a bit of OCD because often I have this crazy compulsion to clean and vacuum...I LOVE to vacuum, yes I know I'm weird. (For more info on that subject, see the blog entry regarding Stanley Steamer, I love those guys!)

I admit too I enjoy being pampered. I love pedicures (of course these are best with my great friend Tabitha and a weeks' worth of gossip to catch up on), manicures, massages, facials, getting a new haircut (especially getting my hair washed with the magic shampoo and conditioner that my Stylist Ashley uses. Doesn't it always seem better when someone else does it!) and pretty much anything that can be done at a nice, reputable Day Spa. And as most women do, I love shopping, especially when I have money to blow, eating at great restaurants and relaxing vacations especially those for which I can bask in the sun and do absolutely nothing.

I also believe that chivalry is not dead and appreciate a chivalrous guy. Opening all doors...car, restaurant, bar, etc., letting me go first when walking through a crowded room, walking me to my door, occasional flowers, offering to pay and calling, texting or emailing for no reason but to say hi. All fantastic signs of a great guy...but of course the true, meaningful traits of good guy follow below.

I truly don't think I ask for more then I should when it comes to what I want in a guy. Here are a couple of important traits I know I want in guy:

1. He has to have a good personality, one that is funny, extroverted and will make me laugh. We all know how much fun Good Ole' Bill was right, what a funny, outgoing, personable guy he was...(did I mention it was opposite day) in other words, no Bill was nothing even close to one of those characteristics, which is why I know I have to have a funny guy in my life. Someone who really makes me laugh and enjoys having a good time. The opposite of Bill.

2. He also has to have friends...more then 1... as I believe friends help you grow and become your true self, not to mention what kind of a weird ass person doesn't have friends. (Again do I even have to say it, Bill had 1 friend.)

3. He also has to have dreams, goals, passion and motivation for his life...without having those things a person goes nowhere but the couch. Just ask me, I dated a person like this for four years. No dreams, no goals, no motivation, no passion = Bill. (And no playing on a computer for 8 hours a day, trying to catch every episode of Jerry Springer or seeing how long you can nap in a work day cannot be in anyway shape or form looked at as a goal to be surpassed nor should it be considered a passion of any kind.)

4. A Job...he has to have a job, he doesn't have to be a CEO of a bank or SVP of a corporation, he just has to have job he enjoys to some degree. Lets face it at our age there should be no reason a person does not work in some fashion or another unless of course they win the lottery. Whether its in the office, a stay at home Mom or Dad, a teacher, a waitress or front desk person, something that gives a person a paycheck or helps the household. Not having a job causes great friction in a relationship...believe me I know all too well. Which reminds me I am still not sure why Bill decided not to work for an entire year and to just live off me. (Oh but shame on me for letting him do it)

5. Honesty and Trustworthiness, he has got to be someone with great character and a high moral standard. Someone who was brought up learning the difference between right and wrong as well as treating everyone they meet with the respect he would want in return. In other words someone who doesn't cheat or lie to me. I just don't see the point, if you are going to cheat, then end the relationship. Period.

6. Lastly I want a guy who has patience and is caring. A guy who accepts my intense love for animals and the nonprofits I believe in. Someone who will spend a Saturday volunteering at a Diabetes Walk and would stop the car, help me coral a stray dog to safety and then help me find its owners. And most importantly someone who respects my family and my friends because those are the most important people in my life.

I would have to throw in that the type of guy I want has to be laid back enough to appreciate my emotionally charged personality. It is that emotion and passion though that makes me the person I am. (Anyways I don't think there is anything wrong with crying sometimes.) But in return he would get someone that would love without holding back. I don't think any of the things I want in a guy are ridiculous or things that are too much to ask. I think the things I am looking for are the things I know I can give back in return.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." -Helen Keller