Not Ready to Forgive and Forget

I found this quote and if only I can get to the forgiveness part.


"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." — Lewis B. Smedes

Puppy Lullaby

Adorable!!
My sweet friend Christie sent this to me...she knows me too well and knew I would love it!

Case of the Mondays

I have a lot of random thoughts in my head right now. So I will address all of them in my Monday 8/25 blog entry ....

Maybe I am so full of thoughts because it is Monday or maybe it is because I am looking to do anything but work right now......I really wish I could not be at work right now.... oh to be somewhere else...any place else would be more then fine. I wish I was on vacation right now.... laying out on a beach or sight-seeing in Greece or really just doing anything but being here at FINL.

Mondays....Ughhhhh
As soon as my alarm clock went off this morning, I was wishing I could fast forward the day a quick 16-17 hours and climb right back into bed. I am definitely feeling unmotivated and sluggish today. I just have such an issue with Mondays. I am not sure if it is just me and my hatred of Mondays or if maybe it me feeling antsy about where my life is right now....or the lack of knowledge on where it is my life is going....because truly I need a big change. I don't know.

Blogging Time-Out
It has been awhile since my last blog...I had a blah week last week and it mostly consisted of me vegging out on my couch after work because I felt so crappy. Weird thing to just lay on my couch so much lately....I never used to lay on my couch, Bill used to inhabit the couch for hours at a time so I couldn't really ever get much couch time of my own. I will admit for some odd reason I find myself sitting on the floor quite a bit too, not sure why, I guess I just got used to it during the "Years of Bill".

I had to take a time out from Blogging as I didn't feel in the mood to write. Like I mentioned earlier, I was sick for a couple days last week after getting a tetanus shot last Monday. And didn't feel compelled to write. You know...I hope that little dog found his owners or that someone adopted him. I went through a lot of crap for him.

But I think I am finally feeling myself again after a weekend of much needed rest.

Migraines
Anyone out there plagued with Migraines? I had my second migraine on Friday afternoon and into the evening. It was awful, I feel for anyone who has migraines on a regular basis...they are absolutely debilitating. I laid on my bed for several hours unable to sleep or move or be subjected to light and I have no idea what I did to initiate the migraine. Thankfully I felt a lot better Saturday morning.

Summer Flex Fridays
Last Friday was officially my last Friday off, unless I take PTO. It sucks, I really think Flex Fridays brought up our moral and also gave everyone in the office something to look forward too every other Friday. I didn't even mind working 10 hour days every other week...the Friday off was absolutely worth it. I am hoping the HR dept realizes how much Flex Fridays were enjoyed by all and they decided to continue them on. Do I think that will happen....not at all but I can dream right. Too bad my last Flex Friday was consumed with a migraine and overcast weather. Ok so I will stop being Debbie Downer now.

My Garage Sale
On a brighter note last Saturday was my make up garage sale day. Despite the ridiculously hot and humid weather I had a great turn out. I ended up making around $200.00 in a little under 8 hours. Another plus, my garage is looking pretty sweet and de-cluttered! I love organization and thanks to the many who stopped by my garage sale, I was able to get rid of a lot of stuff. Now I am just trying to get all of the left over junk to Goodwill or any other organization who will come to my house and pick the stuff up. All in all a great first garage sale!

Craig's List
Did I mention that I have become obsessed with Craig's List. I find myself looking through my house for things I don't use or need so that I can sell them. So far I have sold my old table and chairs but have a couple other things on the site at the moment. It is such a great place to get rid of stuff you don't need but to also enable yourself to make a little money....I have a few items that Bill left or that he just forgot about.... so I am hoping to get some money from those items. To be honest (and I am not a mean person) I wish I would have been in the mad stage when he moved his stuff out. I was so hurt when he did this to me a second time that I just wanted all of his stuff out of my house and out of my sight. Thinking back now, I wish I would have kept some of the good items to sell. Maybe I could have gotten 5% of what he used, took, selfishly absorbed from me back. I do not feel the least bit mean for selling his crap because to be honest technically he owes me like $15,000 from the free room, board, electricity and all the other stuff I gave selflessly to him...only for him to believe he deserved. So selfish! So really he is getting a bargain. If there was any way to sue him, I would but I have yet to find a way to do so.

The Circus
Today an email went out to the entire office, offering tickets to the Circus. I have an issue with the Circus and how they treat their animals. I remember going to the Circus when I was little and even then believing that it was mean to make these animals perform acts that do not come naturally to them. I really believe it is highly inhumane that they force wild animals to tour around the country and perform circus acts for hoards of people. Not to mention in their spare time they are tied and locked in small cages or crates until the next show.

Painting
I am taking a leap this weekend and going to get some stuff done around my house that I have been putting off. First up...painting my master bedroom. I am not the best painter and really it isn't as fun as I thought it was but I desperately want to add some color to my bedroom so I am forcing my self to paint over the long Labor Day weekend. I will be sure to add photos of my newly painted room as soon as I have completed this little project.

I have a million things to get done today so I will end the blog entry for the day.

10 Year High School Reunion

This past Saturday was my 10 year high school reunion. I can't believe it has been 10 years since I graduated from High School. Wow...that kind of makes me feel old. I dont want to get old....

The reunion was very small but I must thank those who worked to coordinate the event. It was an interesting time.

Hopefully at our 15 year reunion we will have a better turn out. I must not complain though as I did not volunteer my time to help with this one.

The photo above includes the following beauties: Christie (and one of her twin daughters, I think this is Addy), Jenn (who is having her first baby in December), Me (no kids or babies...at least at this point in my life) and Kerri (who is having her third but first baby girl in, February I think). Erica is missing from this photo...she decided not to come. All of us have been friends since we were in elementary school. It was great to see the girls! I have some other photos to share too.

I always enjoy going back home to Fort Wayne, I know it is not too far from Indy but I don't make it home as often as I should. It was a perfect day outside and the weather cooperated nicely. It was nice to see some old friends that I normally do not have a chance to see very often. It was also great to see some of my closer friends that unfortunately I don't get to see as often as I would like to either.

I was warned yesterday when I got my tetanus shot that I may get some flu like symptoms and feel yucky or not so great for the next couple of days. The nurse said I should probably be fine....I thought I would too as I do not have any issues when I get a flu shot each winter. Well unfortunately I woke up this morning feeling like total crap, my head is pounding, I have a fever and I can barely swallow.

I had a ton of meetings today so I couldn't stay home and I was hoping I would feel better as the day went on but I don't. I was reading online about effects of a tetanus shot, once I got to the percentage of people who die after getting the shot I forced myself to stop reading. I tend to be a bit dramatic at times but I don't even have enough energy to think about the possibility of dying from my tetanus shot all because I was trying to save that little dog.

So I am heading home to do nothing but rest this evening. It is times like this, that I really miss having a great guy to take care of me. Actually it is times like this that I miss my parents taking care of me, like they did when I was little. I have such awesome parents. Ok Im leaving now.

I am going to write more about the reunion later and add a couple other photos too.

Learned My Lesson...Well... Kind of....

See this cute, innocent looking, little dog, don't be fooled, while trying to save his little life from what would have certainly been disastrous, he BIT me!

Lets rewind a bit....I love animals, I don't know when this huge love for animals began, but I do hold a special place for them in my heart, and honestly I always have been like this. Growing up we always had a family dog and I have never been afraid of any animal. Actually I feel sorry for people who are afraid of dogs or cats because I think they are missing out on having a pet.

I have no issue stopping on the side of the road to help a stray cat or dog. I actually think stray animals seek me out because they know I will stop to help them. I have had several great experiences where I was able to reunite a lost pet with their owner. And remained uninjured in the process. I always try to put myself in the owners shoes. If Lucy, Roxy or Farley ever got out and were lost, I would hope someone would stop to help them just like I do.

Well this weekend I was on my way home to Fort Wayne for my 10 year high school reunion, with Lucy in tow of course. All of a sudden I see this little animal running down the median, I think I screamed...I couldn't believe this little 10 lb dog was running down the middle of I-69. Immediately I did a U-turn, of course using the area that blatantly states only for authorized vehicles. I could have cared less, I just didn't want this little dog to get smashed by a Semi or one of the many cars doing 75 mph.

At first the little guy was scared, I could totally understand. I was very cautious and calm as I approached him. I threw him a couple Goldfish Pretzels and he seemed to be friendly. As I got closer he remained calm but as I got even closer he bit my finger. The little helpless Jack Russell Terrier I was trying to save, all of a sudden turned into Cujo! Really the blood dripping down my hand looked far worse then the wound really was. Thank god another person stopped right after I got bit to help out. Randomly this woman was on her way to a dog show, so she had a empty crate and a leash that she used to capture the dog. She said she was going to drop it off at the closest Humane Society. Upon realizing I had been bit by this tiny dog

she exclaimed, "Wow you should get that looked at...that is really gonna swell up"

I responded, "Yes I think that would probably be a good idea. "

Really lady, you think I didn't realize that there was a puncture wound on my hand and that my hand was dripping in blood. Thanks for the info...I was a little annoyed...Seriously I was just bit by a strange dog of course I am going to freaking get it looked at.

I stopped at a Rapid Care once in Fort Wayne and asked them what I should do. They told me it takes 72 hours for would be rabies to infect your body, so I was good until I got back to Indy to get a tetanus shot. Not comforting, but at least I didn't have to worry about dying in my sleep or succumbing to some other random symptom of rabies, at least not until 72 hours later.

So today I went to the doctor and got a tetanus shot, it hurt way less then giving blood. Now I no longer need to worry about rabies or any other infection from the little innocent looking dog that tried to bit my finger off. I have learned my lesson to a degree, however, I will not be able to stop helping stranded and scared animals. I will just be more cautious about it next time. Those little dogs can fool you.

An Afternoon at the Indiana State Fair

It has become somewhat of a tradition. Every year the marketing dept., or those in the marketing department who wish to brave the mid-day heat/humidity, avoid getting hit by the crazy tractor towing people movers and a possible stomachache after devouring a variety of fair goodies, take a trip to the Indiana State Fair for lunch. Well today was that day!

It was oddly pretty nice weather...normally it feels like 100 degrees, sticky and uncomfortable. Really our only reason for going to the fair is for the food...as I am sure this is the reason most people do so. First up....the Fried Cheese booth. My vice at the state fair would be this fried cheese, fried cheddar nuggets to be exact. Although the Fried Cheese booth is a racket charging $7.00 for 8 cheddar nuggets...I can't help but love this greasy, gooey, melty, cheesy goodness and make a point to get this every year. Add a ridiculously small thimble sized cup full of Ranch and it is heaven at the fair. How could one not enjoy warm fried Wisconsin cheese nuggets? Only other thing I could compare to this great annual lunch choice would be Gramboli's pizza buffet, with the giant tv, set to Wheel of Fortune with two of my favorite guys...Jared and Scott.

After the first course of our unhealthy food choices, we walked around to see what other yummy options we could find. I kept seeing people with giant ears of corn and they looked great. Time for the second course....Roasted Corn on the Cob. If there is one thing that Indiana can grow is good corn. I love corn on the cob and I was sure that it was probably ridiculously delicious, so we walked into the booth and we all got an ear of corn for $2.50...by far the cheapest food choice in the vicinity of the Indiana State Fairgrounds. It was exactly as great as I thought it would be, they dip the roasted corn in a bucket of butter and then you can salt your own. Loved it. Thought possibly I should visit the Dairy Barn for dessert but decided that may throw me into a food coma and I didn't want to feel awful for the rest of the day. Theres always next year.

We continued to walk around and made our way to the Cow showing area. Being a huge animal lover, I always like to visit the farm animals. As soon as we entered the barn area (I have no idea what the real name of this area is) I see four people pulling violently on something and as I get closer I realize it is a cow giving birth. Oh my gosh it was amazing....I almost cried. The calf was so adorable and then the mother cow started licking it and it was just awesome. As you can probably tell by my amazement I am in no way shape or form a farm girl and I don't see something like this very often. I think I really should have been a vet...I missed my calling. We then made our way to the Pig house....again adorable, large pigs snoring away and caring less about their visitors. There were a couple active pigs in the area and I got to get up close and personal with them (through their pens of course) and was even able to pet their snouts. Don't worry I disinfected my hands several times when I got home so no chance at getting some crazy pig illness. As we were living the pig house we saw the little piglets and the mom pig. Again adorable and to be honest I really wanted to pick one up but I forced myself to keep walking. I do think I may consider being a vegetarian now.

Overall it was good day at the fair and we were lucky enough to make our way to our cars as the clouds and bad weather rolled in...

Commitment...For or Against?

I don't like Wednesdays....never have....such a sucky day of the week. Nothing too exciting ever seems to happen on a Wednesday either. Although the minute I am on a week long vacation, the passing of Wednesday makes me sad because that means the week is almost over and so is the vacation.

I again stayed up too late watching the Olympics. The 12 hour time difference is a killer and of course all of the sports I care to watch: Swimming, Gymnastics and Volleyball are typically shown on prime time so I find myself staying up till midnight to see the results. I don't have DVR or TiVo...I know I am the exception to most in this regard, even my parents have DVR. As my friend at work Elizabeth said..."Megan its only like $5 more a month." I know...but I fear that if I did get TiVo or DVR that I would become chained to my television... feeling compelled to catch up on all my shows during my free time and then becoming a hermit in my house.

How fantastic would it be to be at the Olympics in person and it would also mean I would be on a vacay....which sounds great right now. I would love to go to an Olympics at some point in my life. Add that one to the never ending list of things to do before I die.

Anyways I found this little quiz on msn.com and decided to test my commitment level. I am a sucker for quizzes like this, you know the ones that are supposed to tell me something about myself that I didn't already know. Am I a hopeless romantic or just hopeless...Am I a Workaholic....What is my personal style type and so on. I have found that Glamour and Cosmo are also great resources for these types of quizzes....again another time waster.

Here were my results from the quiz...not really a shocker:

Well, you are without a doubt a commitment superstar who does not shy away from any responsibility that comes along!
Most likely, you think the phrase being tied down gives commitment a bad name. You're certainly not afraid to sign on any number of dotted lines, unlike quite a few people around you. Relationships and responsibilities are important to you. You like knowing the people you can count on, and that probably makes other people able to rely on you! But don't just sign on for any old commitment. You always have a tendency to want responsibility, structure, and a set routine, but you need to add a little spontaneity into your life! Take the long way home from work, go to a different sandwich shop for lunch, or even spend some time alone without a significant other. You might not know how to behave at first, but you'll get back in touch with the self you may have lost in the sea of commitments and responsibilities you've made. Only when you're ready, jump back in, but be sure to take regular care of yourself. The roots people put down make their lives richer, and you will always have plenty of that kind of wealth in your life.

Take the quiz: http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/Quiz.aspx?type=com&Af=-1000

13 Things

I am ridiculously tired this morning. I could not help myself...I was up till 1am watching as the US Men's Gymnastics team fought for a bronze medal. But now I feel as though I was up all night partying...but without the hangover.

As I was diligently working this morning...I had a brief ADD moment and jumped on MSN.com to catch up on the latest world news, what country was in the lead for the most Olympic medals, and well I'll just be honest, I also wanted to find out whats happening in the lives of Hollywood's rich and famous. FYI...while I hate to admit it...OMG on Yahoo is also a good time waster for when you are having an ADD moment at work. Who doesn't like to keep up on the Spears sisters and Heidi/Spencer drama? When does the new Hills begin?

In the process of scrolling through a multitude of articles informing daily readers about what the best Pet fashions, an interview with Tori Spelling and a highlighted story on the most medicated states in the United States, (which by the way is West Virginia, in case you were interested in moving there) I happened to come across this interesting little bit of irony and funniness... 13 Things We've Learned from Living Alone.

Unfortunately or maybe not, I found that I could related to many of the 13 things. Although I was probably the most lucky person in the world when it came to having fantastic roommates...sidebar I really did have wonderful roommates all except for Laura Miller, what a nightmare. I also have found that I do enjoy living without them. No offense I loved always having a friend to talk to, watch re-runs of Law/Order with, go out with or borrow from but now that I am 29 it just seems different and I like it. Living alone also helps with my military-like OCD cleaning rituals from annoying the hell out of my lovely roommates. Its a win for everyone...I have a clean house and I get to keep my friends. Although I must say, #12 is a bit disturbing, rest assured although I do have two cats and a dog I will not become a pet hoarder, or any kind of a hoarder for that matter (have you seen that Oprah, yikes!) nor will I ever become a cat lady. Just for the record.

I posted the article's list below...

13 Things We've Learned From Living Alone
By: Eileen Conlan, Magazine: Marie Claire

THE LIST
1. Blouses that button up the back are Satan's greatest triumph.
2. It's amazing how quickly one person can go through a roll of toilet paper.
3. OMG, the hair in the drain is all yours.
4. Dinner tastes better eaten pants-less, standing at the sink.
5. A Slim Jim and a Snack Pack pudding make for a really satisfying meal.
6. Alone time makes you philosophical: If I eat this wedge of cheesecake and no one is here to see it, did I really eat it?
7. It's easy to go 48 hours without speaking.
8. Things You Can Now Do Naked: Dice, disinfect, dust, vacuum, hang, knit, crosswords, read, play Wii, shop online, bank online, blog, file taxes, prune indoor garden, macrame, sweep, whittle, blow glass, watercolor, glaze, sculpt, polish, refurbish, rewire, Tae Bo, role-play, Google, play darts.
9. What to Netflix while you're waiting for the cable guy to show up: The Money Pit, Funny Farm, Grey Gardens, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Station Agent, and season one of Big Love (for the days you miss having roommates).
10. I Need To Do That? Professionally shampoo rugs once a year . . . dry-clean drapes every two years . . . defilm the coffeemaker every three months . . . deodorize the microwave monthly . . . change bedsheets weekly.

THE STATS
11. TAKE THAT, SMUG COUPLES: In general, married women experience more depression than do single women.
12. TRY A PET ROCK: 76% of animal hoarders (think 19 dogs, 32 cats, and a zebra in one house) are women, and over half live alone.
13. BEWARE THAT DIPTYQUE (and for godsake, don't light a vanilla one): 18,000 home fires are started annually by candles.


"Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Late Night Thoughts

I have the day off tomorrow and for that I am truly grateful. I did however have to work till about 7pm tonight in order to have tomorrow off but I would rather work late and have a whole day off then work till 5pm five days a week.

I did feel rather productive when I got home and I was able to check off several items on my ever-growing To Do list. I somtimes wonder... what would I do without a list and even more importantly will there ever be a time in my life when that list will be empty. I find myself depending on those To-Do lists...so I wont hold my breathe.

I was finally able to turn off the A/C and open up the windows because the temperature and humidity have finally dropped a bit. A big Thank You goes out to Mother Nature for helping out with that...I could live happily every day in weather like we had tonight. I love the smell of fresh air and even more a great breeze that fills your whole house with life.

I was sitting out on my patio and staring up in the sky and it was clear enough that I could see the stars. Even though I took two Astronomy classes at IU, I still couldnt tell you what constallation is what. The breeze was wonderful, the air truly smelled of summer and the loctus' hummed in perfect unison.

It reminded me so much of the summer time when I was a little girl... we lived outside....playing anything we could think of outdoors with our friends, swimming, riding our bikes, the park, water fights, hide and go seek and the list goes on. But just like clock work we would be home as the street lights flickered on. Then I would go inside and so began the bedtime routine which included a bath every night especially during the summer. Then I would put on my favorite Strawberry Shortcake nightgown and beg my parents to let us stay up just a little longer. Normally I could get 10 or if I was lucky 15 minutes out of them. Wow what I would give to have my parents tell me when to go to bed. I loved that. I also remember loving all of those things at the time of them happening and knowing they wouldnt last forever. Now reflecting back I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories like these to reminisce about.

I think it was the begging to stay up later that created the late night monster that I am today. For some reason so matter how hard I try I cant make myself a morning person. I just hate getting up early. I remember in 5th grade actually creating a plan on how we should get our Elementary school to let us start at 10 am instead of 8 am. I really thought I could sell this plan to them...my main argument was that we would all be more rested and able to learn if we were able to sleep in later. I really thought it would work. It didnt and I found myself struggling even in 5th grade to get up early and it never got better from there. I often wondered how I would ever be able to survive in an 8-5 world since I was so used to a 10am to midnight (lets be honest way later) schedule in college. As I soon figured out employers dont care in the least what your college class schedules were they want your butt in the office by 8.

Another thing you may not know about me...well some may know....is I have a hard time just sitting and watching tv. I guess I feel lazy if I am not multi-tasking. I just dont enjoy sitting and watching tv for hours. Well tonight I actually sprawled out on the couch and flipped through the channels. I have never really been a flipper because normally there is a specifc show on that I want to watch and it absolutely annoys the crap out of me when people flip back and forth and then you end up missing part of the show you were watching. Bill, the horrible excuse for a man, did this and it drove me crazy.

Anyways I was flipping and I stopped on the Country Music channel. Now I am pretty much a fan of all music, I think those that can sing are incredibly gifted as no one not even my dog would want to hear me try to hold a tune. I really didnt get into Country music until my Freshmen year at IU. My next door neighbor in the dorms introduced me to the Dixie Chicks, I introduced her to my mix tape of Warren G and other pop music. She was from Lawrenceburg and I was from Fort Wayne. Later this neighbor would become one of my best friends and to make things even more interesting we had the same name. Megan and I ended up being roommates for the rest of our college days....so many memories I would fill up a million posts just on our Sophmore year.

Well tonight as I paused on the Country Music channel I found myself captivated by a song. The song was "Stay" by Sugarland. If you have heard it or seen the video you know what a captivating song it is. I dont typically get into music videos or really songs for that matter but this one just sucked me in. The emotion and saddness in the song griped me. While my life has not taken me down a road like the one described in the song I could still relate to the shear emotion and pain this woman was singing about because in the end it is all the same. By that I mean no matter how you are hurt by a man...cheated on, left for another woman, you are the other woman, broken heart, etc. it is still that raw, gut wrenching, uncontrolable feeling of hurt that you cant avoid.

I found the video and have posted it below.

Music Video:STAY (by Sugarland)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

"Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination." - Roy Goodman

Perplexed Mood

I'm in a bad mood today, well a better word would be perplexed... I'm in a perplexed mood, and it is only 9am. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe it is because it is Wednesday (Wednesday being my least favorite day and all). Or maybe it is entirely because I feel stuck in my life right now...been at the same job for almost 5 years, lived in the same house for over 3 years....lived in Indiana all of my life and I don't know where I want to go from here. I just don't know.

What I do know is that I am not feeling work today...at all. Would much rather be laying out at the pool reading the newest People or Cosmo. You know... I don't know that I am feeling anything right now....which is absolutely not me. I am usually a ball of happiness, positive, energetic and upbeat... normally my emotional/in touch with my feelings side shines brightly through, ok lets be honest its not really a "side" but pretty much it encompasses the person I am...but right now I am just feeling very blah...and unsure.

I hate feeling unsure....leaves so many areas of my life unguarded and exposed to change. So I guess really change is what freaks me out...I have come a long way in regard to accepting change. The real break through was when I was a freshmen at IU...my whole life changed and nothing I did could prevent those changes from happening, they were the growing up changes that now I am so thankful for, cant be a kid and live at home forever, right? I still remember a card that Leah gave to me...it spelled out the word Change with a positive adjective for each letter of the word Change. I still have the card. Since then I have welcomed change much more but that doesn't mean it still doesn't freak me out a little.

Or maybe it is because things have not changed enough in my life recently that I am starting to get restless with the same stuff and not enough new experiences. I think too that I keep repeating some of the same mistakes in different areas of my life. When a red flag appears, I should try my freaking hardest to move the opposite way...to not to go back to making the same mistakes I made before. I guess it is much easier to go with what you know then to take the road less traveled.

I am just ready for a new chapter in my life (or several for that matter), actually a whole new novel would be just as welcomed. I need some serious changes in my life... I think I need a new job with a new purpose and definitely making more money...a new workout routine, better yet anyone out there want to be my trainer, I told Erica I would run the Mini with her this year...a new relationship with someone fantastic who brings out the best in me but also equally gives to the relationship(See Speaking of What I Want blog entry for more on this subject)....maybe a vacation somewhere I've never been, a new culture, Greece anyone...an afternoon spent catching up on new happenings with an old friend... Oh and a new over-stuffed chair with an ottoman...would look perfect in my living room.

But really...I feel like I am in a rut and I want to get out. No more doing the same things day in and day out. I am young, single (at the moment) and looking for all the things life has to offer.
My goal: to be happy, enjoy my family and friends, to love without regrets and to live my life to the fullist because I never want to look back or question or have regrets about the time I spent here on earth.

"Desire is the key to motivation, but its the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." -Mario Andretti

So Many Years of Friendship.

Geezzz we were so tan in this photo! This was taken on our college senior spring break trip to Florida. It is a couple years old...before weddings, husbands, mortgages, babies and full time jobs. Pretty much the last year we were all able to live in what I like to call the college bubble.

I was going through photos the other day and I found this picture. In case you are new here or are not sure who is who in this photo, I'll give you the low down, these beautiful ladies are Jenn, Erica, Christie and myself.

Honestly, I think I have hundreds maybe thousands of photos of the four of us dating back to elementary school at good old Harrison Hill and even as far back as pre-school at Lincolnshire with Christie!

I used to be obsessed with documenting every occasion or even a non-occasion by taking pictures. I have ridiculous amounts of photo albums and stacks of photos in boxes but I love to flip through them and see how we've all changed.

I am so blessed to have met these girls so early on in life because we have been able to share with each other important life experiences, rites of passage and so many memories I couldn't begin to count. I think it is a rare thing to find a group of friends who have been friends since they were 8 years old.

I am a lucky girl.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown

Speaking of what I want...

I wouldn't classify myself as a high maintenance woman...a better term would be a woman who finally knows what she wants...in myself, in life, in a man and in a relationship.

I am particular about some things, for instance I hate dirty counter tops in the kitchen as well as dirty dishes in the sink. I wont eat leftovers despite the fact that my Dad has told me pretty much my whole life that there is nothing wrong with leftovers. To me there is, I think their gross. I will however eat leftover pizza and any Casa de Angelo leftovers at any time.

I have to sleep with a fan at night (don't ask it all started when I was in high school and thankfully my dear and loving roommates over the years have graciously put up up with my crazy habit...Leah, Meg, Jill, Missy, Julia, Jessica, Rita, Christine...you guys are the best! What can I say I hate to be hot.)

I also like things clean and in order, I could possibly diagnosis myself with a bit of OCD because often I have this crazy compulsion to clean and vacuum...I LOVE to vacuum, yes I know I'm weird. (For more info on that subject, see the blog entry regarding Stanley Steamer, I love those guys!)

I admit too I enjoy being pampered. I love pedicures (of course these are best with my great friend Tabitha and a weeks' worth of gossip to catch up on), manicures, massages, facials, getting a new haircut (especially getting my hair washed with the magic shampoo and conditioner that my Stylist Ashley uses. Doesn't it always seem better when someone else does it!) and pretty much anything that can be done at a nice, reputable Day Spa. And as most women do, I love shopping, especially when I have money to blow, eating at great restaurants and relaxing vacations especially those for which I can bask in the sun and do absolutely nothing.

I also believe that chivalry is not dead and appreciate a chivalrous guy. Opening all doors...car, restaurant, bar, etc., letting me go first when walking through a crowded room, walking me to my door, occasional flowers, offering to pay and calling, texting or emailing for no reason but to say hi. All fantastic signs of a great guy...but of course the true, meaningful traits of good guy follow below.

I truly don't think I ask for more then I should when it comes to what I want in a guy. Here are a couple of important traits I know I want in guy:

1. He has to have a good personality, one that is funny, extroverted and will make me laugh. We all know how much fun Good Ole' Bill was right, what a funny, outgoing, personable guy he was...(did I mention it was opposite day) in other words, no Bill was nothing even close to one of those characteristics, which is why I know I have to have a funny guy in my life. Someone who really makes me laugh and enjoys having a good time. The opposite of Bill.

2. He also has to have friends...more then 1... as I believe friends help you grow and become your true self, not to mention what kind of a weird ass person doesn't have friends. (Again do I even have to say it, Bill had 1 friend.)

3. He also has to have dreams, goals, passion and motivation for his life...without having those things a person goes nowhere but the couch. Just ask me, I dated a person like this for four years. No dreams, no goals, no motivation, no passion = Bill. (And no playing on a computer for 8 hours a day, trying to catch every episode of Jerry Springer or seeing how long you can nap in a work day cannot be in anyway shape or form looked at as a goal to be surpassed nor should it be considered a passion of any kind.)

4. A Job...he has to have a job, he doesn't have to be a CEO of a bank or SVP of a corporation, he just has to have job he enjoys to some degree. Lets face it at our age there should be no reason a person does not work in some fashion or another unless of course they win the lottery. Whether its in the office, a stay at home Mom or Dad, a teacher, a waitress or front desk person, something that gives a person a paycheck or helps the household. Not having a job causes great friction in a relationship...believe me I know all too well. Which reminds me I am still not sure why Bill decided not to work for an entire year and to just live off me. (Oh but shame on me for letting him do it)

5. Honesty and Trustworthiness, he has got to be someone with great character and a high moral standard. Someone who was brought up learning the difference between right and wrong as well as treating everyone they meet with the respect he would want in return. In other words someone who doesn't cheat or lie to me. I just don't see the point, if you are going to cheat, then end the relationship. Period.

6. Lastly I want a guy who has patience and is caring. A guy who accepts my intense love for animals and the nonprofits I believe in. Someone who will spend a Saturday volunteering at a Diabetes Walk and would stop the car, help me coral a stray dog to safety and then help me find its owners. And most importantly someone who respects my family and my friends because those are the most important people in my life.

I would have to throw in that the type of guy I want has to be laid back enough to appreciate my emotionally charged personality. It is that emotion and passion though that makes me the person I am. (Anyways I don't think there is anything wrong with crying sometimes.) But in return he would get someone that would love without holding back. I don't think any of the things I want in a guy are ridiculous or things that are too much to ask. I think the things I am looking for are the things I know I can give back in return.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." -Helen Keller

Ironic

It is quite ironic that I received the quote that I did today. Let me back up to explain, I get a new quote emailed to me each day and more times then not I get a meaningful quote that is worth saving.

Well today I got a quote that honestly fits my current state of mind perfectly. It is almost eerie how perfect this quote is. The quote is as follows: "When we are no longer able to change a situation — we are challenged to change ourselves. " — Victor E. Frankl

I have realized that even though I wish I was able to change a current situation with a person in my life right now there is no way on god's green earth that I can do so at this time. (Note: to clarify this person I am eluding to is not Bill...very much over him, thank you very much)

Everything happens for a reason, yes I have heard this so many times in the last year that it is ingrained permanently into my brain. But what frustrates me (and this goes back to the one door closes, another opens idea) is the time it takes to fully understand why a situation didn't work out as I thought it should.

But you know what...as wonderful and great as I think he is...I find myself having no option but to give in on trying to change the situation. Just because I think there is an obvious and amazing connection between the two of us...doesn't mean he sees or maybe even feels it himself (I don't know how he couldn't). I am just removing myself from it so that I no longer get upset about not being able to change the situation or better yet even understand the situation.

Its truly a never ending circle and I am done running that route. So this is me challenging myself to change and no longer will I put forth effort and energy into a person who I have come to realize has not a clue about what he wants. And that is hard for me to understand as I do know what I want. Currently I have no clue how I am supposed to fit into his world so changing myself and not the situation is the only answer. Due to lack of information, I have no choice but to assume friendship is the only option right now. So be it... If friendship is all that is possible then that is what it will be. I can never say I wasn't open and completely honest with him. And not to be pompous, but really it is definitely his loss. Hoping he will figure out what he wants at some point....only time will tell. (And by the way I hate time and unfortunately I am not the most patient person in the world)

Due to my very unpleasant mood right now for various reasons I feel like treating myself. In fact I have not had lunch yet so instead of eating a Lean Cuisine like I should, I am going to go eat something that has pretty much no nutritional value and is high in calories.

I am going to the dreaded McDonald's and I'm going because it will make me feel better, if only for a short time. I am sure I will regret eating the greasy and unhealthy but delicious food later on today, but right now I don't care. If I hadn't shared this before I am an Emotional Eater...some people smoke, some people drink, some people shop (well I do that too sometimes) but not me...I eat when I am emotional. (which explains the recent weight gain over the past year. oh yeah...thanks Bill, that I am now working my ass off to get rid of). Actually I wish I worked out when I was emotional, that may be another change I will be making....OK I digress.

Sorry for the mid-afternoon ranting and raving....I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening.

Finding That Next Door...

The present is a gift and this I know for sure.

As cliche as it might sound to some, I have really come to appreciate the meaning of living for today and understanding that tomorrow is promised to no one. More importantly you never know when those most important to you, will be gone. Worrying about tomorrow, next week, next month does nothing but rob you of the good things happening to you right now. Yes all seems so simple to understand but not as easy to do.

Now I speak these thoughts as a worrier and a dweller myself. I worry about things that may never happen, things I cant control and I also find myself dwelling on situations that I can do nothing to change. Yet when I take a step back and think about what it is I am worrying or dwelling upon, I realize how much energy I am wasting on things I will never be able to control.

I have without a doubt fallen victim to glaring longingly at a closed "door" for too long...hoping and praying that what was behind that door would come back, eagerly knocking to be a part of my life again. Relationships, jobs, friends, family and opportunities have come and gone without asking me for permission. Often I am puzzled and confused by it all because it is difficult to comprehend why a particular door in my life had slammed shut, causing an abrupt and normally unwanted end to a chapter in my life.

What I never see at the time, is that because that particular door closed, without my blessing, another unforeseen and unblemished door opened right up. So as hard as it may be sometimes, I know that the best thing for me, or anyone else for that matter, is to move forward and find that next wonderful, exciting, unfamiliar and untainted door. No matter what doors I have traveled through so far in my life, I know that with each one that closed, I was able to learn a little more about myself.

With that said, I think it is time to find that next exciting door and to see what today holds for me...no more worrying or dwelling.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
-Alexander Graham Bell

My Magnificant Mom

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." --Washington Irving

Wonderful Wedding Weekend

This past weekend I went home to Fort Wayne for Nick and Malak's wedding. After many, many, many years of togetherness and dating they finally tied the knot. I could not be happier for them.

Kristen and Malak have been best friends for many years and Kristen and Nick have grown to be great friends too. She was very honored to be in and apart of their wedding. My parents and I were also very happy that we could witness this wonderful occasion. I mean just look at how happy I am in this photo (what is up with that cheesy smile?)....a couple glasses of wine may have also had something to do with my ridiculously huge grin too.

The ceremony took place at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. The church was beautiful and ornate with a marvelous mural painted on the ceiling. The Priest was exceptional and gave a beautiful sermon that spoke to everyone who was in attendance. The ceremony include many Greek Orthodox traditions that I find so intriguing, such as the crowns and walking around the table three times. Malak's wedding dress was beautiful and all of the bridesmaids wore classy black dresses and carried pink roses. (This was very reminiscent of Erica's wedding.)

The reception took place at the Downtown Hilton Hotel. It was such a fun wedding. Malak and Nick both have very fun families and it was great to see everyone having such a wonderful time. I thought one of the best parts of the wedding was that it was so rich with culture and tradition. The DJ played many ethnic songs to honor Malak's Jordanian heritage and her family was able to teach everyone else the dances that went along with the music. It was a great time.

I decided to forgo the bouquet toss but Kristen decided to participate and caught the bouquet. Apparently my little will be getting married before me.

Now the honeymoon begins and Malak and Nick are off on their European cruise. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Heiny!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

My How Time Flys....

I am going today at lunch to mail my check for my 10 year high school reunion. It is weird...very weird to be RSVPing to my high school reunion.

In August, SSHS grads from the class of 1998 will join together to catch up and to see who married who, how many kids so and so have and of course how everyone has changed over the last 10 years.

I still can't believe it has been 10 years since I graduated from South Side High School.

This event is making me feel quite old. I don't feel like I have been out of high school for 10 years nor can I believe I have been out of college for 6 years.

Where has the time gone? Part of me would love to morph back into being a seventeen year old high school student. Then my only worries would be getting home by curfew, making sure I did my English homework and getting to volleyball practice on time.

I have mixed feelings about this upcoming gathering. I try to stay in touch with those people I was close to in high school and see them as often as I can. Yet I will be honest, I think it will be fun to see how those people, I haven't see for 10 years, have turned out. Wow....10 years seems like such long time!

"I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. " -Stephenie Meyer

Finding Someone To Love The You, That You Love.

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous." -SATC

My friend Josie sent me that quote several weeks ago. I printed it out and placed it on my quote board above my desk. If you didn't notice already from reading through my blog...I love quotes...so I created a little section in my small cube at work, which houses all of my optimistic, positive, motivating, inspirational quotes. Thought I would share this one with you.

The Story of Lucy

I love animals. It is no secret I am a huge animal lover. Always have had a soft spot in my heart for all animals. I even hate to kill ants. In fact I wanted to be a Vet until I realized I would have to put animals to sleep sometimes. I couldn't bear the thought of having to do that....so I decided marketing was a better option.

My love for animals was so great that when I was little I would rescue stray animals and try to find their owners. My parents weren't too excited about my extracurricular activity because they were worried I would get attacked by a rabid dog or something worse. They always worried too much...actually they still do. Thankfully never got attacked. I did however, misconstrue a situation with a yellow lab one time. I thought it was lost so I took it home, called the number on his collar only to find out I took him out of his owners front yard. Oops! Well the owners shouldn't have let him roam around so close to the street without supervision in the first place. I have reunited several lost pets with their owners though, which always makes be feel good. I would hope that if I ever lose one of my pets that someone would do the same for me. Do unto others and Karma you know...

I actually found Lucy one day in March three years ago. I was driving home from the grocery and she ran right in front of my car. I walked around my neighborhood trying to find her owner. With no luck I took her home for the night. The next day I took her to the vet to find out if she had a microchip with her owners information. At this point I had already grown attached to her and was horrified when the Vet Tech came out and said they found a microchip. I asked them to check again, upon doing this they realized that they had been scanning the sample chip that was attached to the scanner. Idiots! With both relief and happiness I left the Vet that day as the new owner of a 3 month old, little, tan and white Sheppard mix puppy I'd call Lucy.

As I have stated before, I am a huge believer in everything happens for a reason. Without a doubt I believe I found Lucy for a reason that gloomy Saturday afternoon. She needed me that day and later I would realize how much I needed her. Almost a year to the day after I found Lucy, is when my world changed completely and my engagement ended. To some a dog may just be a dog but truly I can not tell you how many times she has done something to make me laugh or divert my mind from other worries.

See everything does happen for a reason.

"Dogs are not our whole lives but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Monday Quote

I wish that life wasnt so difficult, uncertain and hard to understand sometimes, nonetheless, I can't stop believing that everything does happen for a reason... I love this quote.

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody ever said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
-Anonymous

Home Sweet Home!

As of 7/15/2008 I have owned my home for three years!!!

Wow...I can't believe I have been a home owner now for three years. I feel like just yesterday I was house hunting for the perfect first house. My poor Realtor, Jim, made the long five month journey with me and in the end he and I looked at about 50 homes before choosing my house.

Owning a home has not come with out some bumps in the road. It was very interesting...when I moved into my house Jim bought me a home warranty for one year (a thank you gift), I never really used it so I didn't renew it. Of course the minute I didn't renew the warranty, I had to replace the furnace/AC unit. And this unit is not your standard model...it is like the super fantastic version.

When shopping for the furnace/AC unit, which by the way I have no clue about, I looked to my then boyfriend Bill for advice and for the first time in my life didn't call my Dad to get his opinion. I thought calling my Dad would hurt Bill's feelings.

Of course Bill said oh we can pay this off with my bonus', no problem. Yea right...he barely helped to pay for the utilities he used every day or birthday gifts for his own family members. Definitely one of my biggest mistakes as now I have a very expensive furnace/AC unit and will continue to make a huge payment each month on it until it is paid off. Why I thought Bill would know anything about furnaces/AC units is beyond me. I guess there were a lot of things I trusted in him that I have found out were complete BS.

Then there was a hail storm and I had to get a new roof....luckily I just had to pay my deductible on that. And then the garage door decided it needed to break its springs and I had to pay to get new ones installed.

Luckily (knock on wood) nothing has gone wrong lately. Hopefully it will stay that way. I am looking forward to doing some painting soon in both my bedroom and my guest bedroom. Fixing up the house is so fun...just wish I had more of a disposable income to buy new stuff all the time!

I have never regretted buying my house and I cherish the fact that I was able to buy it all on my own.

I will upload photos soon of all the changes I have made.

"Home is the resort of live, of joy, of peace, and plenty; where supporting and supported, polished friends and dear relations mingle into bliss." - James Thomson

It's Just Another Manic Monday...

I started off the morning hitting my snooze button at least three times. Which is unfortunately not a good way to start off the week. Needless to say, I hate Mondays...never been a favorite day for me. Some how I was able to get ready and out the door in record time. So with positive attitude for a new day in tow I left to begin another work week.

As I was driving to work and flipping through radio stations I started listening to Radio Now and the topic of cheating came up. More specifically and interestingly the topic of text messaging and cheating came up. They were taking calls from people who had experienced this type of frustrating and upsetting experience. Amazingly many, many people have caught their significant other cheating by reading their text messages.

So I called in....why not, I think I have an interesting story and would love to add my two cents about the subject.

I actually got through, told the producer my story and they put me on the air...This was my first call into a radio station, I normally don't think there is a reason to call in as I think who would want to hear my opinion. But this time I had a personal connection to the topic. It took everything I had not to call Bill out (complete name and cell phone number) to all who were listening in the Indpls area but I decided that I just cant be that mean.

I told my, now months and months, old story about the demise of my relationship and how it all came to an end because I too found text messages and compromising photos on Bill's cell phone which lead to the confession of cheating. Even though I am sure he didn't hear it and probably no one I know was listening...it still felt good just to get that last "Screw You Bill" out. I have also decided that I will no longer spend .1% of my time, memory, etc. on talking about what happened with him or how much I both loved and hated him. Relationships are so complex...never quite able to completely understand them.

What I do understand now 8 months later is without a doubt, I know now that my personality, life and happiness were all spared thanks to Bill. Never thought I would see this day and really mean whole-heartily that I am glad Bill wasn't the one for me. That only means that that someone is still out there, which is both promising and exciting.

"Success is a piece of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best which you are capable." - John Wooden

Perfect Day Off

This year Finish Line decided to implement Summer Flex Time. I have been in the Marketing Dept at Finish Line for almost 5 years and I must admit I never thought this day would come. It is fantastic! Every other Friday through August we get the day off. Now this perk does not come without some extra work on weeks where you have the Friday off....meaning working longer days Monday through Thursday...but getting a Friday completely off out weighs the extra hours on those days.

My day has already been great as I was able to sleep in until a double digit number on my alarm clock....Love sleeping in.

It is sunny, warm and perfect outside. I am going to the pool to layout and catch up on my Glamour and Cosmo....I am having flashbacks of how much I loved summer when I actually had a summer vacation. I should have been a teacher. Too bad there arent any hot cabana boys serving daquris at the pool that would then be an even better excursion.

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder

My Parents 31st Wedding Anniversary

Today marks my wonderful parents, Peter and Susan's 31st wedding anniversary.

This photo was taken on their wedding day. Aren't they so cute!

Wow....I can't believe they have been married for 31 years. To me their long lasting marriage it is a testament to the idea that when you do find the right person, it is possible to take that leap of faith.... to fully trust another person with your heart and to know that that special person will always be there for you, supporting you, loving you and growing together with you through all of life's ups and downs.

It is their love and commitment and makes me optimistic that some day I too will be as happy as they are and celebrating my 31st wedding anniversary with someone that thinks I am the most amazing person in the world.

"May you always be blessed with walls for the wind, a roof for the rain, a warm cup of tea by the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you and all that your heart might desire." -Irish Blessing

Trying To Be Comfortable In My Own Shoes

One of the biggest reasons that I started to write this blog was to have an outlet for my very confused/damaged/sad/lost and eventually angry thoughts and feelings during the demise of my relationship & engagement to a man I thought I would call my husband.

Its funny how life works...just when you think you have a handle on it... BAM...you're hit with a curve ball. And I was definitely impaled by a huge, 100 mph, Rawlings baseball. As the months have passed by I find myself forgetting more and more about the hurt and anger I have been consumed with over the past 8 months. (In part a big Thank You should go out to my Therapist Donna.) All of the lessons learned and the mistakes that were made during the past four years of my life with Bill have become, well for the lack of a better word or words, "Megan's Guide to the Red Flags in a Relationship". And my follow up Guide would be "Run like Hell, Ways To Tell He Was Born without Motivation, Social Skills and a Personality"

As I continue to get used to single life again, I cant help but struggle and pine over learning how to trust again. I never had a problem with trust until Bill entered into my life. In fact I think I was the polar opposite - trusting everyone until they gave me a reason to doubt them.

I will admit the thing I hate him most for, is not because he discarded me for a 20 year old freshmen in college (again if you haven't read previous blog entries I have to comment on the fact that Bill is 30) but because when he cheated on me he didn't just demolish a four year relationship...he crushed all of the trust I had built up inside for him as well as any man I will date in the future. He took something away from me and it wasn't fair. And I hate that it is so hard for me to trust now. I can deal with a relationship ending but I have a hard time understanding why cheating has to be part of the equation....because that is what has a lasting effect on me.

And in addition to my trust issues, I have more self doubt at the moment then ever in my life...which is why this blog is appropriately titled trying to be comfortable in my own shoes. I have always had a good idea of the person I am and I have always believed that I knew who Megan was....but I am not so sure anymore. How could I let someone like Bill do this to me in the first place, I should have left the relationship before he had the chance to cheat on me. I should have had a stronger self worth to know that I deserved better...It is like rebuilding a house after something horrible has damaged it. I'm starting from the bottom up and rebuilding all of the things that Bill so selfishly changed in me.

Slowly but surely I know I will be the Megan I remember myself as but even better because now I am armed with an arsenal of information to help me seek out any selfish, immature, narcissistic and cruel men that may enter into my life.

I promised myself that I wouldn't let Bill's actions change the person I am, although I have had to deal with a couple things I never wanted to, I have to say that thanks to him I have been given the chance to make myself an even better woman. And I thank god every day now that I didn't end up marrying him..

Now I will just concentrate on finding the perfect pair of shoes....a pair that makes me feel like me again.

"The fact is, sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun. " -SATC

The BIG Garage Sale was....a BIG Bust

My Neighborhood Community Garage Sale was this past Saturday. I have never had my own garage sale but was excited to have the experience.

I remember when I was little selling lemonade for 10 cents at my parents garage sale but I was unaware of the amount of work that goes into pulling them off. Time consuming!

So I cleaned out my shed, my garage and all the closets throughout my house looking for would be treasures to add to my garage sale pile. Erica and my Mom donated items to the cause, which were much appreciated. I was happy to get rid of some clutter... I had a lot of college-era items and furniture to sell as well as some tainted items that belonged to the ex-fiance, which I had the unfortunate pleasure of having to look at once again.

I had high hopes for making some money from the stuff now cluttering up my garage...especially on "his" items since for almost two years the jerk lived off me and my finances. It would be nice to make a little money back at his expense....ok sorry...I digress.

I decided that all proceeds from my garage sale were going to go towards purchasing flowers and plants to landscape my yard. My yard is in desperate need of some color and new plant life.

Saturday morning rolled around and....I woke up to find what looked like a wall of rain...a crazy down pour ....and then it continued to rain...and rain...and rain. My Mom and Dad were visiting this weekend so they sat in the garage with me for about an hour waiting for the most brave and fearless garage-salers to venture out. A neighbor across the street was the only other sole on the block who was open for Garage Sale business...what a sad Neighborhood Garage Sale.

Well I had two customers and made $1.25.....end of Garage Sale 2008.

I may try to have another one considering all the items, are priced, organized and pushed to both sides of my garage. If not then hopefully next year will be better.

Blood Drive

I am not the biggest fan of blood, needles and really anything that has to do with the medical field. I have never given blood except for two little blood tests at the request of my doctor. I am envious of my friends in the medical field as I wish I could handle working in that line of work. I can't even imagine what a fulfilling job that would be.

When I was a Freshmen in college I looked into what classes I had to take to become a dermatologist. For some weird reason things that have to do with the skin are very interesting to me. Well then I found out that I had to take an anatomy class, so the dream of being a dermatologist quickly faded along with the smell of formaldehyde lab coats.

To give you an idea on how much I cant stand things having to do with the medical field, my wonderful friend Leah (who was my freshmen year roommate at Teeter-Weissler dorm at IU) is a physical therapist and she took anatomy our freshmen year and when she would study in our dorm room many times I would leave because I hated listening or seeing images regarding the human body.

On May 15th I decided that I needed to get over this giving blood fear. Finish Line had the Blood Center come to the office for a blood drive. I had to report to the Blood Mobile at 11am and then answered a million questions before they hooked me up to the blood thing. I will be honest the needle is much bigger then I thought it would be. I must admit it was definitely not as bad as I had pictured it in my head and it really didn't hurt as much as I thought it would either. I couldn't watch the technician put the needle in my arm, I actually had to switch chairs because they couldn't find a vein in the left arm which only made me more nervous.

Once they finally found a vein they could use, I squeezed the crap out of the squishy thing I was supposed to squeeze ever 5 seconds and quickly pumped two bags full of my A, positive, blood. I was feeling great about giving blood and proud that I defeated my fear of doing it. Then they removed the needle and all of a sudden a heat flash swept over my body and I started sweating and feeling nauseous. Apparently I lost most of the color in my face because two different techs rushed over and asked me what was wrong. They gave me some Gatorade to drink and turned on extra fans to cool me down and about 15 minutes later I was feeling back to normal.

While the end of my blood giving experience was not too pleasant I think overall the experience went well. I would definitely give blood again more then anything because I know how the Blood Center needs donors. Hopefully I never need blood but if I do it would be nice to know there are people out there willing to give "the gift of life" to others who need it. So if you can or are thinking about it you should just do it. It will help more people then you'll ever know.

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, In all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can." -John Weley

Poison Ivy

I have Poison Ivy and it sucks. It is on my arms and on my face. Thankfully it was not too bad on my face and has pretty much cleared up but my arms are an itchy mess.

I have no clue where I got it but it is taking its time to go away. Anyone who has ever had poison ivy knows how uncomfortable it is and how annoying it is to itch all the time.

I have tried several different types of itch creams, Benedryl and my doctor prescribed this gel stuff that is slowly but surely helping.

I did learn though that poison ivy can't be spread by itching it. The only way to get poison ivy is by getting the poison ivy oil directly on your skin. Bottom line if you have poison ivy you aren't contagious.

Going forward all yard work done by me will involve a long sleeve tshirt, gloves and workout pants not capris that way I have no way of getting poison ivy again.

(I will spare all of you, an actual image of me with poison ivy.)

"finish each day and be done with it. you have done what you could. some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day. you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -Emerson

The Girls

This past weekend Erica, her youngest daughter Claire and I ventured back to our hometown of Fort Wayne for the day, to visit our wonderful friend Christie, her husband Manley and their beautiful twin daughters.

The three of us have known each other since we were little and we have been friends for what seems like all our whole lives. I don't really remember a time when both Erica and Christie weren't a part of my life. I am truly lucky to have them in my life.

We had a fantastic time and it was so wonderful to see the twins.

The Twins, Grace and Addy

Christie and Manley are amazing with them. Christie has always been one of the most patient people I know and that patience has carried over to her Mommy skills. She is so laid back and patient...it is amazing. Not to mention the stamina that both Christie and Manley have to take care of twins....I was tired and I didn't even do much.

It was great to get know the twins better and I cant wait to see what life has in store for them and see how they grow. Unfortunately even by the time we left to come back to Indy I still had a hard time figuring out who was Addy and who was Grace!

I have to mention too that Claire was a trooper. Being in a car for a total of 4 hours was a long day even for Erica and I....but Claire did an amazing job especially since she is only a year and a half old!

It was a great trip!

Traffic Court

On October 31, 2007 I left the office to take some Finish Line branded giveaway items to our Finish Line store in Clay Terrace.

There is a school on the corner of 30th and Post, which means there is a school zone in that area too. I am well aware of that and know the rules of the road as I have held an Indiana drivers license now for 12 years.

I was stopped in the turn lane at a red light waiting to turn onto Post Rd. The light turned green and I proceeded to turn left. I was going around 20 miles per hour just as I was up to about 25 miles per hour, I see it....the flashing lights. All of a sudden I feel this wave of panic as I see a police officer approach me.

Long story short, he gives me a ticket for speeding in a school zone. What the hell...I was absolutely not speeding. I am enraged and decide to appeal the ticket.

Fast Forward to May 7th, 2008, 1:30pm Indianapolis Traffic Court. One scary place! As I am waiting in line to get into the court room I strike up a conversation with the woman waiting in front of me. I ask her if she had ever been to traffic court and she goes on to tell me that she has been several times and that she appeals her tickets because she cant afford to pay them. She adds that she was pretty lucky this time because she had a bunch of open beer cans in her front seat when she was pulled over. Apparently she was only given a speeding ticket when she should have been ticketed for much more. As she is saying this I am thinking...hope I am never on the road when you are driving.


As we are waiting in line against a painted cinder block wall, which reminded me much of Elementary school when you line up to go to the lunch room, the court house sheriff comes out. He begins his speech about not bringing guns into the courtroom, that children cant come into the court room and that the gentleman in line DID NOT have to remove the change from their pants pockets as they proceed through the metal detector. Three different men put change from their pants pockets into the little bowl by the metal detector. Really? Is it that hard to pay attention.

Finally I get into the court room and I gotta tell you, it is intimidating to see 20 IMPD officers sitting there laughing and joking. Luckily the officer that pulled me over was a Lawrence Police Officer and apparently they are lazy and never show up to court. That held true for me so my $150 ticket was dismissed. And rightfully so as I was not speeding in the first place.

All I can say is that I hope I never go back there again.

"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." -Anonymous

Mutt Strut 2008

Lucy and I at the Speedway for the Mutt Strut

Mom, Lucy and I at the Mutt Strut

The 2008 Mutt Strut was a huge success. The weather was beautiful and as I looked out over the Indianapolis Motor Speedway all I could see is a sea of dogs and their pet parents.

My wonderful Mother and I participated again this year and we had a blast. I was able to achieve my fundraising goal of $1,000.00 and I am so grateful to my fantastic family and friends who so selflessly donated to this great organization. I am still waiting to hear about the final number of participants and the total money raisied. I look forward to participating in this event again next year. Let me know if you want to join my team next year!